Stone of Physical Pain:Stopping Me In My Tracks

Today I HURT. My body has betrayed me and my only course to not emotionally and mentally crumble to the pain has been to medicate and stay in bed. This has affected my ability to meet my commitment to posting daily for the #write31days challenge. I attempted to "cheat" a little bit by sharing a post that I had written a while back. I decided to remove that post and just write from the heart. There will be no flowery words or beautiful descriptions. There may not even be an image to accompany this. Here is my heart...

I knew by 4:00 this morning that it going to be a rough day. Even though I had not seen a forecast, I knew we were in for a weather change. I have not been pain-free in over a year. I am scheduled for another surgery early November and am praying this provided the relief I am searching for.

I've cried out to God for Him to reveal Himself as healer. Some days (even though I am weighted down by pain) I can push through and live a fairly normal life. Other days...like today...the pain threatens to crush me. It doesn't just affect my body, but it pierces my mind and interferes with my ability to focus or think.

The pain doesn't stop there. It threatens to shake my faith. I sense questions creep in to my my mind..."If God is a healer, why are you still suffering?" It puts me in mind of the questions the enemy used to lure Eve into sin. Where will this question lead me?

My only answer can be found in these Scriptures.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.", (Isaiah 55:8, NLT)

"So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin.", (1 Peter 4:1, NLT)

"Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.",(1 Peter 4:12-13, NLT)

While I don't have the answer to making the pain go away...I use the pain as a reason to draw close to God...easily I could use it as an excuse to pull further away. I am still trusting God with my healing and believing that one day I will be pain-free.

My simple prayer...God, please be our healer. In Jesus' name we pray~Amen

God My Rock: He Will Redeem Me

Today I need to be reminded that God is my ROCK and REDEEMER! I don't have to do these difficult parts of life on my own or by relying only on my own understanding and strength. That isn't my job...it's HIS.




I am under many pressures these days. 

• Regular mom and wife pressures (not to diminish these, because they are very real and very BIG and potentially CONSUMING)

• Blogging pressures (Who knew that committing to posting daily on one topic for 31 days would cause pressure?!?!)

• Writing/ Publishing pressures (I have a new book coming out soon. Conquering The Grief That Stole Christmas: Shifting Your Vision to Find Hope During The Holidays. TONS of pressure on this front as it is material that needs to be in the hands of grieving people BEFORE the holidays!)

• Work pressures (Yes, I have a job too and coach clients during their seasons of change.)

• Volunteer pressures (Can I say "NO" to anything?)

• Friend pressures (I LOVE my girlfriends...but don't always have time to show them)

All of things threaten to crush me as stress builds, sleep wanes and coffee looses its effectiveness. I have a ROCK. A REDEEMER. Someone who stands guard in front of and behind me. He goes ahead of me and makes the crooked places straight and the rough places smooth (I'd hate to experience how difficult things would be if He weren't going ahead of me and paving my way). He has called me by name and planned great things for me to do. 

• He planned for me to be a good wife and mother, and with His help, I can be.

• He called me to write...and I trust Him for the words.

• He placed this book in my heart...He will see it comes together in His timing.

• He gifted me my job...He will pour out His wisdom as I work with clients.

• He notched our a place for me to serve for no other reason than to be a blessing and a gift. He will redeem my time.

• He gifted me with beautiful friends who know I love them whether we see one another or not.

He is my Rock. He is my Redeemer. He has done all of these things for me, and He will for you too. He doesn't only redeem our activities and labors.

He redeems our spirit into relationship with Him through salvation. He redeems what illness, disease, job loss, heart break all steal from us. 

The redemption may not be in the way we hope or expect it to arrive, or even in the timing we think is necessary...yet He is still redeeming.

He is our ROCK our REDEEMER. How are you trusting Him to be your Rock in the pressures of life today? If you leave your replies, I will gladly keep them lifted in prayer!

"Then they remembered that God was their ROCK, that God Most High was their redeemer.", (Psalm 78:35, NLT)

Dear God, Reveal yourself to us as our Rock and Redeemer. Help us put our trust more in You than in our own strengths, abilities, or understandings. Father, we each have a few rough places we need you to smooth out and some crooked places that we'd love for you to make straight. We thank you for all you do. Thank you for being our ROCK... and for REDEEMING all the things in our life that need Your redemption. In Jesus' names we pray~ Amen

Lead me to the ROCK

Its easy to get weighted down with the "stones" of our life, that we can lose focus on the One who is our Rock. Be encouraged today as you are led to the Rock that is higher than I!

Paul Baloche – Lead Me To The Rock Lyrics

When my heart is overwhelmed
And my eyes are blind to You
And the pain of life is just too heavy to bear

And then the mountains seems so high
And my faith's too weak to climb
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I

Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I
Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I

When my life is hit with fear
And I fight to hide the tears
And I wrestle in my heart to know what to do

Lord, I'm welling up inside
But I know You hear my cry
Jesus, lead me to the rock that is higher than I

Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I
Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I

You are the rock and there is no other
A tower of strength, You are my shelter
Lord, You are my hope eternal
You are the rock that is higher than I

You are the rock and there is no other, oh
A tower of strength, You are my shelter
Lord, You are my hope eternal
You are the rock that is higher than I

Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, oh
Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, oh

Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, oh
Lead me to the rock, lead me to the rock
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, oh

Stones in the Valley:Be Encouraged

Yesterday I shared a post about how our best plans aren't always God's best plans. 

As we struggle through watching plans A, B , and C fall through it can become incredibly discouraging. In those moments the best thing we can do is trust God as we go through the valley. He uses those valleys to create beautiful and amazing things in our lives and in the lives of those around us. (Click to see yesterday's post, 'Stones of Plans: Our's or God's')

When we find ourselves in on paths we never wanted, doubt and fear can battle to own territory in our heart and mind. 

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.",(Isaiah 43:1b-2, NLT)

This beautiful song "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens has given me courage to continue trusting God in those moments when I find myself in places I never wanted to be. I hope you find encouragement as well.

Ginny Owens – If You Want Me To Lyrics

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Songwriters: MATTHEWS, KYLE DAVID / OWENS, GINNY

If You Want Me To lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Stones of Plans: Our's or God's

Many of us start each day with a plan. We get up at a certain time, eat a certain meal, leave for work to accomplish a certain goal.

Our daily plans support our long-term plans: We plan to get married, have children, build a home and career, retire, be healthy....

There are times, however, when our best laid plans go up in smoke! They can be thwarted by our own misadventure, by another person's poor choices, or by circumstances beyond our control. 

What happens though if God’s is the one who intervenes in our plans? Do we struggle and fight against His plan, or pause to consider trusting Him to provide what we need to walk the path He has chosen for us?

Let’s look at Joseph. He had a plan to take Mary as his bride... but something happened that was beyond his control... Mary, became pregnant! His entire future as he had planned it went up in smoke. 

"This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.", (Matthew 1:18-19, NLT)

Joseph must have been a man of excellent character because he had every legal right to have Mary stoned to death for being pregnant with a child that wasn't his. (Think about the woman caught in adultery and all the people wanting to stone her to death) Instead, he created a 'Plan B' and chose to break the engagement quietly to protect her.

Joseph was at a cross-roads and logically weighed things and and made a good and honorable decision. He decided to divorce Mary quietly instead of persecuting her and having her punished. A person could easily see the "kindness" of his response as a Godly one. 

There was only one problem with this...even though it was a good decision, it wasn't a GOD decision! Fortunate for us, Joseph didn't get stuck in his own reasoning and his perfect plan. He showed himself receptive to God's plan by listening to the message God sent to him through an angel.

"As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit.",(Matthew 1:20, NLT)

Fortunately for us, Joseph had a heart to listen to God and make the tough decision to let release his 'Plan B' to what he could easily call 'Plan C'.

"When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.",(Matthew 1:24,NLT)

How many time have we had to change plans because something derailed our original idea of how we wanted something to go? We move from Plan A to Plan B, from B to C, sometimes it can feel as if we don't find a true course of action util we are on plans  R, S, or T. 

Even though Joseph would probably tell you that the plan he accepted was his 'Plan C', in actuality it was God's 'Plan A'.

I'd like to encourage you today to pause. Allow God to speak to you in your circumstances. Even though your plan may be a GOOD plan, doesn’t mean it’s God’s PERFECT plan. He may be arranging things to change the world through your thwarted plans and circumstances.

Dear God, help me trust that when my plans fail, you have a better one that I just haven't seen yet. I release my own expectations to you and allow you room to work in the details and circumstances in my life to bring glory to you. Help me learn to hear your voice clearly enough so that my Plan A lines up with your Plan A. I think you for this in. In Jesus' name I pray~ Amen

Stones of Commitment: Does it Fit?

Do you remember the child’s toy where you would put the matching peg into the matching hole? Did you ever try to force that square peg into the round hole? As a child, this toy taught us the hard way that things have to match up to be successful.

I realized recently that I am still playing that game in my life. I have a round hole (a period of time) and someone offers me a square peg (an area of commitment). I will eagerly accept the peg without even thinking. Then the process of me pounding those parts into submission begins. I become consumed and neglect other things because “I MUST MAKE THIS FIT!”

The reality is that there is nothing enjoyable or pleasing about that experience. A further reality is that many times the end result is not good, and I am left exhausted and overwhelmed. (Can I get an AMEN?)

Commitments are not always this way though…there are times when the peg offered me is round and smooth. It easily fits into my round hole with little effort and it becomes something worthy to take joy in. I am left with a sense of accomplishment and I can say that I did a good job; those times are life giving and invigorating.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.",(Ephesians 2:10, NLT)

What can I learn from this? I can go back to basics and recognize that the spot I have available is round. When I have a peg (opportunity to commit to something) I need to pause to examine if it is a match for the slot I have available. If so, I know it has the opportunity to be a great experience. If not, it is most definitely a recipe for disaster. It can end up red faced, overwhelmed, and dripping tears because I just can’t make it fit…NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY!

The good news is that if my hole is round and a square peg needs a place to be, another sweet friend may very well have a square hole in her life that that peg is perfect for. 

Wouldn’t it be funny if my stressed out, overwhelmed sister had the round peg and I had her square one? Can you imagine how much nicer things would be if we slowed down and took time to see if it fit BEFORE trying to force it? I think I may be able to learn this lesson. 

BTW- I’ll trade you a square peg for a round one!

Dear Lord, Help me pause when I have an opportunity to commit long enough to see the truth of the situation. Help me understand that just because something is good, doesn't mean that it is good for me. Give me the courage to do what You have called me to do, leaving behind the things that don't fit with my calling. I think you for these things. In Jesus' name I pray~ Amen

Stones of Anger: Who is in Control?

We've had a saying in my home since my children were little: 

"Its okay to have a bad mood, but bad moods are contagious. Take it to your room until its better because you don't want mommy to catch your bad mood."

Has anyone else been there? Everything seems just fine and one person's bad mood takes over and finds its way into everyone else. There is truth to the saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" 

The bible tells us that certain bad moods or temperaments can be contagious and that we need to guard against them. 

Anger is one of the temperaments God warns us about. 

Anger is contagious.

"Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.",(Proverbs 22:24-25, NLT)

Its as if the angry person is a skilled arsonist who knows where to place his sparks to ignite the flames of anger in your heart. Once ignited, its difficult to control those flames. We can even become guilty of sharing the flames of anger with others and perpetrating the damage.

Damage from anger can be devastating, but an added issue with anger is that it has some pretty hazardous travel companions.

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.",(Ephesians 4:31, NLT

"For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior.",(2 Corinthians 12:20b, NLT)

"But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.",(Colossians 3:8, NLT)

According to the above verses, these nasty behaviors follow anger.

•  Bitterness
• Rage
• Anger
• Harsh words
• Quarreling
• Jealousy
• Slander
• Evil Behavior
• Selfishness
• Slander
• Gossip
• Arrogance
• Disorderly behavior
• Malicious behavior
• Dirty language

Very rarely will we find one without at least a few others. The person who has allowed anger to control him, is also controlled by these other traits. God tells us to guard against allowing this to happen. He doesn't want us to pick up the stone of anger because He knows how damaging it can be to us as well as the people around us. 

• 
  

How do we keep this from happening? 

Anger in itself isn't bad. It is a natural emotion and there are healthy ways, reasons, and times to be  angry. Where we go wrong is when we allow anger to control us, our thoughts, and our behaviors. 

"Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.",(Psalm 4:4, NLT)

 "And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.",(Ephesians 4:26-27, NLT)

"Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.",(Ephesians 4:22-24, NLT)

Just like the travel companions to anger, there are travel companions (characteristics or traits) that partner with the action of not being controlled by anger.

"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.",(Ephesians 4:32, NLT

 "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.",(Colossians 3:2, NLT)

• Kindness
• Tenderhearted
• Forgiveness
• Mercy
• Humility
• Gentleness
• Patience

Spending time with God and in His Word is the key to living a life not controlled by anger. 

"Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls."(James 1:20-21, NLT)

 Dear Lord, As my eyes are opened to the dangers of falling prey to anger, I am humbled. I know in my own I can't win the battle but with your help I can have victory over anger and all of its companions. Help me walk in the new person you have created me to be and embrace a heart of tenderness and forgiveness. In doing this, I am partnering with You. I thank you for this, In Jesus' name I pray ~ Amen

Colossians 3:8

But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Stone of Procrastination: Fear of Failure

I have a confession to make...I am a procrastinator. I don't like that about myself, but it is something I struggle with almost on a daily basis. There are many things I don't procrastinate on at all, while other things weigh me down to the point of immobility and I struggle to take a baby step forward in those areas, much less be able to perform with grace and efficiency.

This has been bothering me for a while now, and I started asking God to reveal to me what causes me to be able to thrive in one area, but struggle so desperately in another.

One day I decided to get to the core of what was going on because i recognized that each time I was procrastinating, anxiety and other uncomfortable emotions were always attached. I created a form for me to fill out each time I noticed I was avoiding something that I should be doing. My questions were these:

• What am I supposed to be doing?
• (be specific)

• What excuses am I using for not doing it?
• (physical ailments, family commitments, can't concentrate) 

• What activity am I doing to distract myself from what I am supposed to be doing?
• (internet, over committed schedule, television, other tasks) 

• What can't be done yet because the task I am putting off hasn't been completed?
• (be specific) 

• Which one am I actually avoiding: the first task, the second task, or both?
• What revelations are you getting? 

• What are my deepest emotions when I contemplate doing this task?
• list all 

• How is my thinking messed up?
• list all thoughts no matter how insignificant they may seem 

• What would God say about my wrong thinking...what is His truth to dispel the lie I am believing?
• Scripture 

I also Included and area at the bottom for prayer and another area to document results.

• Place to write out a prayer.

• Place to document my results.

Something unexpected happened. The things I was

putting off, were all things I feel inadequate to do. The anxieties I feel are linked to fear of failure. Sure, there were other things sprinkled in there, but the big ones that kept me stuck linked back to either feeling like I wasn't good enough or being afraid that I would fail.

That was quite the revelation:

My stone of procrastination is a subconscious fear that I may fail.

There it is, there is my stone of procrastination... fear of failure. I had to dig (go through the above questions) to get to it...but what do I do with it now that I have identified the culprit that weighs me down?

Take it to God.

The lies in my head tell me that I am not good enough. I can't do it. I will FAIL miserably.

God tells me exactly the opposite!

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.",(Philippians 4:13, NLT) 

* I, Tammy, can do everything--- even this things that makes me afraid---because God gives me the strength to do it.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."(Ephesians 2:10,NLT)

 *I, Tammy, am God's masterpiece. God created me to do good things that He planned for me to do. I have a purpose that was planned for me before I was born.

"You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.",(Psalm 139:5,NLT)

* God goes before me, Tammy, and He follows me. That means He guides my path and has my back. He also places blessings upon me.

 "If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.",(Psalm 139:8-10,NLT) 

*It Doesn't matter where I, Tammy, go or run to--- even if its to run form something that intimidates me---God is there with me. His hand guides me and His strength supports me. 

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.",(Psalm 139:13-14,NLT)

 *God made me, Tammy, wonderful and complex. How He created me is marvelous! I know it well and am thankful that He made me so wonderful!

"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!",(Psalm 139:17-19, NLT)

* God thinks many beautiful thoughts about me, 
Tammy. So many they can't be numbered.

With God's truth dispelling the lies of inadequacy and the fears of failure, I gain the courage to conquer the stone of procrastination and trust God with the results of my efforts.

These personalized scriptures don't only apply to me...God feels the same about you. I encourage you to use them (personalizing them with your name) to help you overcome your stones of procrastination. 

Dear Lord, Help me understand the source of my procrastination. As I look at the lies that I am believing, help me counter those lies with your truth. Thank you for loving me beyond anything I can deserve or understand. In Jesus' name I pray~ Amen

A Friend's Stones: Adding Truth or Sorrow

My friend was lamenting over her struggling marriage and my heart broke as her sobs ebbed and flowed.

Over the years, this friend has become a heart sister, and if there is anyone I would 'knee-cap' someone for, it would be her. (Okay, I would never actually 'knee-cap' anyone, but I'd definitely wrestle a bear... okay, probably not that either, but you get the idea. I -LOVE -MY- FRIEND)

During our visit, she slowly unpacked each "stone" that has been gathered in her marriage. 
[ read my earlier post about Throwing Stones: Wounding Marriages] 

The human part of me wanted to "defend" my friend and start polishing this collection of stones with her by joining in on her ramblings and reinforcing her hurts, doubts and fears. I am even inclined to add a few of my own stones to her pile, or possibly launch an attack on her husband in her defense...that is after all, what a good friend does, right? 

Isn't the job description of a "heart sister" a friend who commiserates with you so you don't wallow in your painful places alone. Heart sisters agree to take up the other sister's battles as their own, forsaking everything else that would interfere. 

Many people might agree with this definition, but what if I told you that by falling into the "trap" of commiseration I would be responsible for helping her discontentment grow?

"So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery.
 He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter....little knowing it would cost him his life.", (Proverbs 7:21-23, NLT) [some text removed, but you can see the passage in its entirety by following the link]

I could allow my words to echo hers and "flatter the wounds of her heart". In her already vulnerable state, each flattery could easily lead her down a road that could be costly...it could cost her peace, her marriage, and her family. I could cost her the life she has spent years building!

Too many times, as gals who love our friends, we are quick to join their lamentations and start fanning the flames of hurt and discontentment that are already burning in our sweet sister's heart. Odds are, we have been around long enough to  have plenty of dry tinder to stoke her up good. Out of love, I could justify taking up her war cry of "I hate him!", but what good will that do? Sure, I dislike that my friend is hurt...again.  I cry with her because my heart hurts for her. I want to 'knee-cap' her ding-dong of a husband who just doesn't seem to get it.

But I have a higher responsibility as her heart sister and her sister in faith. I am committed to speak His truth into her life because I love her.

"Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.", (Ephesians 4:29, NLT)

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.", (Ephesians 4:31-32)

"Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.",(Proverbs 27:6, NLT)

9 

 "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.", (Proverbs 27:9, NLT)

"As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.", (Proverbs 27:17, NLT)

When my friend finds herself in these moments, I am the one she calls because she knows I will speak truth to her. Often times it is a painful truth for her to hear. She has confided in me that the other friends in her life each encourage her to leave her marriage. They empathize and understand. No one loves her enough to speak life giving truth into her heart. They would rather flatter her than point her to giving her stones to Jesus.

I challenge you to evaluate whether you add truth into the life of your friends, or are you a commisserator that is possibly contributing to future sorrow?

Dear God, Help me be a good friend that points my sisters to your truth with love. Help me avoid adding to my friends stones or stoking the fires of their broken hearts. Help me to always point them to you as the one who specializes in healing the broken hearted. In Jesus name I pray~ Amen.