Is There a Cure or am I Terminal? I Don't Have Time for This!

Today I am burdened. 

       *My house looks like a scene from a ground zero disaster. 

       *I have very real work deadlines that are closing in as well as self-imposed ones.

       * We are supposed to leave on a five day camping trip today and I still have to shop for groceries and pack my personal items as well as all of the things my family needs to survive because we definitely are not people who like to “rough it” even when camping. 

       *To top it all off, my oldest daughter has a mandatory orientation for Dual Credit classes that we must attend. 

I am overwhelmed. My list of things that must be done far outweigh what I feel that I have time to do. Can you relate?

In these times (and they happen far too frequently) the world and even my instincts tell me to work harder, work faster, do not slow down. There is so much to be done and there is no time for rest. There is no time to pause and seek God or invite Him into my hectic schedule. (Even as I type this I am getting the "stink eye" from my husband. He is wondering why I'm on the computer reaching out to you instead of running around like a crazy woman trying to get everything done)

I would like to say that I am skilled at bringing these thoughts into captivity (2 Corinthians 10:5). 

I would like to say it is easy for me to pause long enough to lay the heavy burden of my “to-do list” at the feet of Jesus and allow Him to give me rest (Matthew 11:28) 

I wish that as I feel myself becoming depleted of energy, I would just stop and wait upon God so my strength could be renewed (Isaiah 40:31).

Instead of these things, far too often I rush through life with the mantra “I just don’t have time for stopping and waiting for God.” It’s funny how I can continue to add more stuff to my  “to do list” but default to not having enough time to pause for God.

This leads me to ask myself, “What is the issue?” If I can continue to add more to my “get it done” list, why can’t I make it a priority to invite God to be a part of it? Why can’t I just stop for 10 minutes (or even 1 or 2) to allow Him to refill me so that I have the strength to continue on? Why is He the only optional part of my schedule?

Here are the things that I think it could be:

I confuse business with faithfulness: I bury myself in serving others, building a business that points people to Jesus by way of the books I author, the Life Coaching sessions that I do 1:1, the mentoring, and the retreats and events that I speak at. I pour lots of myself into these things and always use God as the compass. I can by all means continue in this way making the service a priority but for how long? How long will it be before I am on the floor, worn out, broken, and giving up?

I confuse excellence with perfectionism: I keep myself so busy and don’t enjoy most of the journey because everything must be done and it must be perfect. I get trapped in gravitational pull of perfectionism. It keeps everything ridged and non-flexible. Perfectionism is about my own strength and ability. That is now how God designed us though. Excellence is about His ability and grace through me. Perfectionism wears me out and pushed people away because nothing will ever be good enough or acceptable. Excellence allows me to walk in peace and trust God.

I might be a little bit of a control freak: I think this comes with perfectionism. With the need to be in control, I am essentially saying that I am the only one who can do it and do it right. It shows a lack of trust and God. Sure, God made me detail oriented for a reason, but it was not for me to take His place on the throne of my own heart.

I know that I am not the only one who lives like this. Business seems to be an epidemic with most of the people I know.

So what do I do? How do I make it a priority to pause and wait on God when in the natural is seems like I just don’t have time?

I find the answer in Romans 12:2. It tells me to not be conformed to the patterns of this world (the pattern of busyness applies), but I am to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. (It gets renewed in the time of pause…waiting on God) After that, I will be able to test and approve what God’s will is for me, my life, and my day. I might even learn what He wants me to have on my to-do list. Just as important I might find out what He wants me to remove from my list of obligations.

This leads me to the last questions. How do I pause? How do I add something in when I can’t breathe as it is? I have come up with a starting point. As God opens your schedule, you may want to add more time to any or all of these ideas.

Worship Music: find a place to just sit and listen to worship music. Most songs are 3-4 minutes long so give yourself permission to physically and mentally be still for the length of one song. It the time of one game of Candy Crush Saga and I promise you will get more out of it. During this time just listen to the words and allow your heart and mind to engage and connect with the Father you are seeking.

Thanking God: Set your timer for 3-4 minutes. Go to a quiet place (I typically have to do this in my car sitting in my driveway) and just thank God. Thank Him for what He has done in your life, who He is to you. Just open your heart and pour gratefulness out to Him. Lavish Him with the praises He deserves.

Prayer: Here again, set your timer for 3-4 minutes. Find a quiet place and give Him your “to-do list." You care about the list and every detail on is. The Word says for us to cast our cares upon the Lord… and He will new our strength. If you need strength to tackle your list, this is the way to get it.

I want to be honest, all of you. I am absolutely “preaching to the choir” on this issue. I suffer from the disease of busyness. Thankfully the it is curable and doesn't have to be terminal. 

There is hope…for each of us!

Scripture references for this post:

2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Matthew 11:28(NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest

Isaiah 40:31

 (NIV) 

31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Romans 12:2

(NIV) 

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Observations at a Funeral: Death Sucks...We Don't Have To

I attended a funeral this past weekend. I was there to honor the person who died and support the family left behind. As I sat through the service, I watched broken-hearted family members sitting on the rows marked “Reserved." I saw adult children weep as they were forced to say goodbye to their mom. My heart broke as the song “Baby” played, and the youngest son’s final resolve for strength crumbled completely. His brother, trying to be a strong “Big Brother,"  attempting to soothe the void their mother’s death left behind.

Her husband sat stoic, almost in a trance…his strength resolve holding firm, waiting for a moment when he is alone for the first time in over 40 years. He will grieve in quiet. He won’t take a chance of adding his pain onto his sons’. His words of “It’s gonna be tough on them” echo in my heart as I wonder if he realizes how tough it’s going to be on him.

As I sat in the back of a packed funeral home, I couldn’t help but think of the times I’ve had the undesirable position of being part of the grieving family. I was struck by the inevitability that one day I will be there again, saying goodbye to who? My Mom or Dad? My Brother? My Husband…or heaven forbid one of my children? In those times would I be surrounded by people who were supportive, or people who had their own agenda in the midst of my loss? I looked around the packed funeral home and deciphered what I saw.

In this mix of grief, sadness, and pondering future losses; I saw some pretty amazing things. I saw people love on this family exactly where they were. There was no sense of expectation of how any of them should be grieving. People stood strong for the sons while they fell apart. Others set up food and cleaned up messes. There were people who laughed whole heartedly as the husband cracked his jokes as a means of keeping the hounds of grief at bay…if only for a few more hours. I did see some not so nice people and events, but they are not what I choose to focus on today…I want to focus on the reality that death does suck- but we as people don’t have to!

I saw lots of “un-sucky” people at this funeral. I saw an entire community rally to encourage and support a broken family. These things I have seen before and will see again, but there was one aspect of this funeral that left me in awe at the respect shown for the dead, those grieving, and the ones showing support. The actions that struck me to my heart didn’t happen at the funeral, or the graveside, or even at the family home afterward. The funeral procession trip from the funeral home to the cemetery stirred my heart and made me want to a better person…this is what my post today is all about.

The trip from the funeral home to the cemetery started out like every other one I have been a part of except that this one was VERY long! There were police officers that led our lengthy group and blocked oncoming traffic so we could make it from one location to the other. Pretty standard…right? The difference was this: at each intersection the officer blocked the road with his vehicle, got out of the vehicle and stood there with respect holding his removed hat across his chest. I was impressed by the first one, thinking “Isn’t that a nice thing he is doing?” 

Then we passed the second, and the third, on to possibly the 10^th officer and each and every one was showing the same respect with hat removed and positioned across his chest. I tried to get a picture, but there were technical difficulties and all I got was passing roadways. I was moved so deeply by this act of humility and honor. 

I later found out that the show of respect is the Sherriff’s policy. All I can say is that he would have my vote. I also found out that several of the officers volunteered on their day off to assist with the procession. (I don’t believe they got paid… they served this family and their friends) Way to go guys! You stirred my heart to be a better person.

There was one last gesture during the procession that gave me pause and made me reflect on a sign of respect I thought was long forgotten. ALL oncoming traffic pulled to the side of the road and let the entire procession line pass by (and remember…I said it was a long group) before they merged onto the road again to make it to their destination. Regular people, like you and me, showing respect for someone they didn’t know. What a great thing for them to do. They paused their life for just a few minutes, and that pause affected the deepest parts of me.

I don’t know if these things happened because we were in a small farming/ ranching community or if the people there are just better than those of us from other areas. Either way, it got me to thinking that we should all try to be better, do better, not be so self-centered, and to in general…try not to suck!

On the off chance that the police officers, people who pulled over for the procession, or even the people who helped the family on this dark day in their life read this…Thank you! From the bottom of my less-sucky heart…Thank You!!!

*I know this post strays from my typical language and voice. I want to always share truth with you. With that in mind...death does suck for those who are left behind, but God offers healing and hope. If you need help finding that hope, please feel free to contact me.